"I have no idea what is in store for me now that I've officially signed on for my first year of mission work with Saint Paul's Outreach. But I can't wait." -Rebecca Zamora, 2015 "Oh, wow. You really have no idea what's gonna happen, past me!" -Rebecca Zamora, now much, much older and much, much wiser, 2018 Hello, blogosphere! How's everyone doing? I myself am doing pretty well, I suppose. Oh, what's been going on, you ask? Great question! (That's my new catchphrase this year) You definitely wouldn't be able to tell what's going on from my blog, that's for sure. Judging from my blog over the last year, you'd probably know that a) I moved to Florida and b) Absolutely nothing else. Oops. I really have no excuse for why I haven't kept up with my blog, but know that I have at least three different drafts that are never going to be published highlighting life at FSU in the 2017-2018 school year. My life got flip-turned upside-down when I moved to Tallahassee and I'm honestly still figuring out what happened and processing all that the Lord did. However, I've realized that there's so much goodness going on down here and I haven't been able to effectively share it all with the people I'd like to share it with, so I decided to resurrect the blog! Woohoo! I'm hoping to post more regularly this year (whatever "regularly" means for a missionary) and keep everyone updated. Life moves quickly down here in Tally, and I want to record as many details as possible! That being said, let's move forward. But before we do that, let's look back at some highlights! life with the Catholic Student UnionThe main reason I haven't really posted in the last year is because I've been busy trying to keep up with this incredible group of students as they run towards the Lord! The Catholic Student Union is an absolute machine. God has been about an incredible work in CSU over the last 20 years, and it's such an honor to play even a small part in this work. Our mission statement in CSU is "To Transform the State of Florida and Beyond," and I can confidently say that it's happening, in both big and small ways. Life can easily get pretty hectic with CSU. Between weekly Spirit Nights where the whole community gathers to learn and grow in faith & fellowship; women's group every Thursday night; a huge retreat every semester; student Missionary Corps on Friday mornings; and meeting up with different students on campus...it's a schedule full of goodness, but sometimes it doesn't feel like there's enough hours in the day. Something I've learned is that the Lord always has something new to show me, and all I have to do is ask for the eyes to see it. This simple request during my prayer time has kept the routine from becoming mundane, and allows me to learn alongside of the students, even now. WOmen's Spring Break TripHurricanes are a reality of life for me now, in ways they've never been in the past. Between Hurricane Irma last fall, Hurricane Michael just a few weeks ago, and Hurricane Harvey hitting the City of Houston last year, these disasters keep hitting closer and closer to home. Every year, the Catholic Student Union takes three groups of students on Spring Break mission trips to various locations. The women's trip back in March was a mission to Houston, Texas, to volunteer with Eight Days of Hope, an organization that sends thousands of people to locations across the country whenever disaster strikes. It was a real privilege and adventure to take these women to the homeland and to get my hands dirty with them. Introducing them to Buc-ee's, taco trucks, and HEB didn't hurt either. Summer HouseholdOver the last year, a few of my sisters serving with SPO & I all had a similar sense on our hearts: desiring deeper sisterhood and unity as a national women's staff. What started off as a simple word in prayer that we had in common blossomed into something beyond what we could have made happen on our own. SPO has had a version of Summer Household in place for the last few years, but this past summer was a kind of new (yet, also old) experiment. After our first round of Missionary Training in the beginning of June, 17 of us women and around 18 men stayed in Minnesota for the rest of the month in order to dive deeper into communal life, to grow in holiness, and to gain a new zeal for the mission we have been called to. I've never had 16 roommates before, and even though Summer Household was something I had actually prayed for, I wasn't sure how it was going to go. The greatest lesson that I learned was the joy, and necessity, of carefree timelessness. While there was a definite structure to our life together (morning prayer, dinners, attending different talks every weekday, usual MPD responsibilities), there were also a lot of gaps in our days. We went on a lot of lake trips, played a lot of music, and mostly just spent time together, laughing and getting to know each other more. As SPO staff grows larger and larger, I am really grateful for the chance to have lived in this Summer Household, and to actually have time carved out with no other agenda but to know my sisters more. What Now?Well, in a shocking turn of events that I never saw coming when I first signed onto be a Missionary in 2015, I am still serving with Saint Paul's Outreach. The mission of SPO is one that continues to stir my heart, and I'm grateful to still be a part of it. The video above is a pretty accurate glimpse of how awesome it is to be a missionary. Enjoy! Over the last year, the Lord has been teaching me more and more about myself; He's been showing me the ways that He has been working in my life since I began serving with SPO. Being a missionary has always allowed me the opportunity to use many different gifts & talents on any given day to serve the Kingdom, and I've been given a unique opportunity to use a different set of my gifts in order to further the mission! Along with some of my usual mission responsibilities, I have also taken on an operations role that serves all of our chapters in Florida. I won't bore you with the details (there's a lot of them!), but I essentially do a lot of administrative tasks that enable the Missionaries & Chapter Leaders to do their jobs more effectively. If you have more questions, ask me, and I will affirm how great your question is before I answer it. I'm planning on making another post about what this role has taught me and how it's influenced my spiritual life in the past few months, so stay tuned for that! Oh, also, I went to Disney World in February. Here we are, riding Space Mountain for the second time that day. It was a good day.
Peace, friends!
0 Comments
Advent has come and gone, and now the Christmas season is here! As another semester on mission has come to a close, I've been reflecting on what the Lord has been speaking to me over the past few months. Two words continually stick out to me: freedom and rest. These have manifested themselves in a lot of different ways in the second half of this past semester! Staff Retreat"God rested on the seventh day not because He was tired, but because rest tells us something about who God is and, therefore, who we are: the one who rests is the one who is free. Slaves do not rest. They do not have the option. And if we do not rest, we have enslaved ourselves to something." This quote from a blog post by FOCUS has shaped the rest of my semester, and my perspecitve on the work that I do, in so many ways. It's really easy for me (and probably most missionaries) to get caught up in the work that I do and forget to take care of myself. Our Mission Directors recognized the need for us to get away, and they cleared a week of our schedule to drive four hours up north to a cabin in Cook, Minnesota. With my phone on airplane mode the entire time, I was able to really be present with my coworkers and take some time to rest with the Lord. Some of my favorite memories from this semester came from this week, and I'm grateful to be working for an organization that cares for its employees so well! Household PicturesWe had a house photoshoot in the middle of November and it was so much fun! Often our life in Household gets really busy and we can get caught up in just going through the motions of meals together, prayer, and all the other Newman center events that we go to. It was nice to spend some time together outside of that and have fun frolicking around campus. We even sent out house Christmas cards using one of these pictures! Women's NightAll semester during our Women's Nights we've been talking about claiming our identities as God's beloved daughters, and learning how to live that out. We have had really great content, but I think the most impactful night for me was our last night of the semester. There was no talk, no discussions, no content, just a hot chocolate bar, karaoke, and some minute-to-win-it games. For me, this night was such a consolation that the Lord is working: karaoke, of all things, was the proof. Something I've noticed in myself and in my time as a missionary is that women will not thrive where they feel uncomfortable. You'll never really get to know a woman if there isn't trust built there, if she doesn't feel comfortable around you. We're all searching for authenticity, for a place and people we can be ourselves around. Once we've found it, we thrive. Let me tell you, nothing says "freedom in the Lord" quite like a bunch of women with their arms around each other singing along to Bing Crosby's rendition of "White Christmas." The women all felt free to sign up and perform melodramatic duets, from Celine Dion to High School Musical. The joy in our living room was tangible, and the laughter was contagious. Our Women's Night planning team (a group of about six students) has done an amazing job all semester, and their hard work paid off in big ways during this night. Slowing DownA big theme in my spiritual life, along with freedom and rest, has been slowing down. The Lord has shown me, especially in the past month, that I tend to rush through life: I multitask whenever I can and I try to get things done as fast as possible without stopping to process or really think about what's happening. However, I've realized that this does not serve me, or the people around me, very well at all. As I rush through life, my actions are saying that whatever is in front of me doesn't matter nearly as much as whatever I have coming next. I've been learning a lot from the example of our Blessed Mother, as she "kept all these things, pondering them in her heart." (Luke 2:19) I'm halfway through my second year of missionary life, and as of late, I haven't been very good at taking things in. I don't want to look back on this season of my life and not be able to remember anything. I definitely don't want to look back on this season of my life and know that I could have given way more than I actually did. As a second-year Mission Leader, there are many more "what's next"s on the horizon for me than there were last year. It's all too easy for me to get hung up on the black hole of possibilities, on trying to shift the lens of my life to focus on the blurriness in the distance, instead of the sharp foreground of my current life. It's a balance that I'm learning how to strike each day. Even though the liturgical season of Advent is over, there is an advent in my heart that is continuing on. And just as there is joy to be found in the waiting for the Christmas season to once again come, there is a joy to be found in this period of waiting in my life, as well. God is ever renewing my trust in Him, and I am learning how to receive the gift of faith on a daily basis. I've had a restful (and warm) Christmas break back in Texas with my family, but I am ready to take on another semester of loving the Lord and making Him known. What a great, great gift. To close, here's a picture of Dallas, because I love this city, and also because the Dallas Cowboys won against the Detriot Lions last night. Bring on the playoffs! And so the adventure continues. May God bless you and your families in this Christmas season!
To Jesus Through Mary, Rebecca I am not going to lie to y'all, writing this post was one big ride on the struggle bus. I tried writing a post on Thanksgiving last month but I was just really tired and homesick and wasn't satisfied with anything that I wrote. Then all of a sudden there were 10 days left in the semester and there was so much to do. Then all of a sudden the semester was over, I was packing two giant suitcases because I don't know how to pack efficiently, and I was on a flight back to Texas. Now I've been home for a little over a week and it's Christmas Eve and I just really want to get this post out on the interwebs. So without further ado, here is the post I've been writing for the past month. Enjoy!
Part of me didn't really believe the people that told me the first year of missionary life would go by fast, and yet here I sit: halfway through this first year and wondering what the heck just happened. I find myself in a really weird position because so much happened this semester, and the Lord was so generous with me, and He did so much in my heart and in the lives of the students that I have encountered...I have more often than not struggled to find the words to properly articulate how this semester was, how I'm feeling about everything, and what being a missionary is really like (uh, do you have at least two hours of time for me to somewhat answer that question?). This season of my life has, thus far, been full of joy, of struggle, of pain, of beauty, of discomfort, of love, of frustration, of unexpected blessings...I could go on. There were so many times that I was convinced that there was no way I could be pushed further, that I could stretch my heart wider, that I could love harder. This semester was marked by change, chaos at times, newness, and transition. I am still me, but nearly everything has changed. This has been such a transformative season of my life so far, and I have so much to be thankful for. I have never been more sure that I am exactly where God wants me to be. I am so honored that the Lord chose me to be at the U and to be a witness of His love to the wonderful students there. I am humbled and grateful for the women He has specifically gifted me with, for their hearts and the trust that they have in me to walk with them on their faith journeys. I am thankful that God has infinite patience with me, even when I mess up and constantly fail Him. I am relieved that my mistakes can't stop the Lord from moving in power in my life and the lives of the people I am surrounded by daily. I am overjoyed to be on a team of incredible disciples of Christ who constantly encourage me and challenge me to be a better human, sister, and missionary. I am thankful for the countless opportunities I have every day to share the love of Christ with college students, and I am thankful that God has mercy on me when I miss most of them. I am thankful that the Lord has completely taken me out of my comfort zone this semester. I am thankful for the times where I felt completely alone, for it is in those times that I learned how to depend on God - even and especially when it is not easy. I am thankful that no one else plays guitar on my team, because I have had to step up many times, I haven't felt ready for any of them, and all of it is making me a better guitar player and worship leader. At the end of each day, I am just so gosh darn thankful to be a missionary working for SPO, and I am thankful that the Lord chose this path as the one that would make me the holiest. I am so undeserving but so grateful. I am happy to have this time off to be with my family in the great state of Texas (and to eat all the foods that I missed), but I cannot wait to get back on campus next semester. All glory to Jesus Christ, now and forever, amen! To Jesus through Mary, Rebecca I can't believe September is over. To say that the month was a whirlwind is an understatement. Everyone told me that the first month of missionary life would be the craziest. While I never doubted that they were right, I never could have imagined how crazy it would be. "Wake Me Up When September Ends" has been stuck in my head for the past week, and while reflecting on this month, I realized that at times I thought September was actually not going to end and that I would be stuck in this newness and beginning all year. That thought was a little terrifying to me. To tell the truth, I am ready to not be "new" anymore. Being patient in this time of transition has been the most difficult part about the last month. I am ready to be familiar with my surroundings. I am ready to remember everyone's name that I meet. I am ready to feel like I know what I'm doing and that I'm doing the best that I can with my job. I am more than ready for my body to adjust to waking up early for morning prayer, and I'm ready to stop messing up when I play guitar during said mornings. I'm ready to be comfortable with where I am and what I'm doing. Ah, comfort. The heart of this struggle. A longing for comfort and familiarity and the feeling that I am in control, because I know what's going on and I know what the Lord wants me to do. Suddenly, it's less about the Lord and what He is going to do and it's all about me. How did I even get here? I've found that it's easy for me to become discouraged when I forget to rely on the Lord and I begin to rely on myself to make things happen. When I forget to rely on the Lord for my comfort and I seek comfort in myself or my surroundings, I begin to fail at the task I have been called to. Being a disciple of Christ has never been about comfort. It's never been about what I think or how I feel about what's going on. Because, really, I can't make anything happen. And it's not in my job description or in my power to do so. My job is to create environments that provide space for the Holy Spirit to work, and to make myself available to whatever the Lord wants to do through me. It's not even in my job description to necessarily know what the Lord is doing, but to simply be faithful to the calling that the Lord has placed on my life to serve him. "The world offers you comfort, but you were not made for comfort: you were made for greatness." This is one of Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI's most popular quotes, and it has been a constant go-to for me in the past couple of months when I need to be re-convicted of my mission. Thanks be to God we are called to something greater than the fleeting comfort that the world offers. When I think about my life and all of the gifts that the Lord has given me and the ways He has provided for me up here in Minnesota, I am filled with so much gratitude to be spending my life on mission for His kingdom. There's nothing else I'd rather be doing. This gratitude and faith in the Lord's promise make it easy to choose greatness over comfort. The Holy Spirit enables me to choose this greatness daily. Now, I'm starting to figure out how to get around Minneapolis. The U of M campus is still huge to me, but I can at least make the walk to Gopher Catholic Nights on my own. The Lord is helping me establish strong relationships here, and I absolutely love all of the students that He has placed in my life. I'm just fine with this growing familiarity; and I'm choosing to be okay with the lingering discomfort. After all, the Church does not need me to be comfortable. The Church needs me to choose to be great. In the words of St. Therese of Lisieux, everything is grace. Thank you, Lord, for the grace to embrace the greatness and reject the comfort. May I and my fellow missionaries, with intercession from St. Therese, continue to choose this way of greatness and grace each day! And so the wonderful adventure continues... To Jesus Through Mary, Rebecca Note: My next post will include more about what we've been doing on campus and pictures from our first two months of mission here at the U. Stay tuned!
I have written and re-written this post several times over, and I never know how to start it. Things are different now. They just are. I always knew they would be, I knew that change was coming. But it's real and it's here and I'm still processing it all.
Where do I even begin? Let's start with where I was the first time I tried to type up this post. I was in the middle of Mission Team Training. I was sitting outside of a Caribou Coffee (aka my newest obsession), soaking up the sunshine and reflecting on the Lord's goodness. It was so good to be back in the mission leader community. It was so good to begin each day praising the Lord in worship. It was so good to start planning for the year, to begin filling up my schedule, to start really getting ready for the year. It was overwhelming at times, but it was just so good. After Mission Team Training, we had a restful day and a half off before jumping right into the School of the New Evangelization, or SNE. What an anointed week. It was so good to have rest in the days leading up to the conference, and it was at the same time so good to be in the full swing of things. It was so good to see all of my beloved Texans that drove up from San Marcos. It was so good to learn from all of the incredible speakers and get re-convicted of why I am serving with SPO. It was so good to meet most of the women I will be living with and it was so good to be welcomed by so many students from the U of M that know me as "the new missionary." I was exhausted beyond belief and I didn't think that my heart could be stretched any more, but the Lord showed up and His grace got me through and it was good. Now, everything is over; but at the same time, it's all just beginning. I'm finishing this post at a different Caribou Coffee. My heart is heavy from all of the goodbyes I've had to say this weekend, goodbyes that I've never had to say before. The sun isn't shining today and it seems fitting. But the Lord is still good. I am moving into my new house today and staying there. My missionary brothers and sisters have all gone off to their respective chapters. And that is a good thing. That's the point of it all, isn't it? We come together as missionaries with the purpose of leaving. During the last talk of SNE, our founder, Gordy, reminded us that to "come then go" is good news - because now we get to go and share the gospel of our Lord on campus. And that is not just a good thing - it is the best thing. So, in the end, I can't be too sad, because the Lord is a Father who only wants good things for His children. He posed a question to me at training: "Do you believe that I want good things for you?" I know He does. And I choose to wholeheartedly believe that. The next couple of weeks are when the real work begins. May the Lord cover my team and I in His grace, and may the Holy Spirit be near us to enlighten and strengthen us. And so the wonderful adventure continues. To Jesus through Mary, Rebecca |
WELCOME!My name is Rebecca. This blog is a documentation of my life as a missionary with Saint Paul's Outreach - in Minnesota, Florida, and everywhere in-between. Thanks for stopping by! Categories
All
|